Funny SMS and Comedy Quotes Collection in Hindi

by SmsLootere - Last Updated: February 27, 2014

Funny SMS and Comedy Quotes Collection in Hindi

I think you are looking for funny jokes SMS for sending your friend’s mobile phone. Then you are on right page, because this is Smslootere.com, this is fun express. Here you get Hindi chutkule, comedy quotes, funny jokes sms in Hindi, collection of Humorous jokes and also Santa Banta Jokes.

Funny SMS and Comedy Quotes Collection in Hindi

(1)
1. Smoking
2. Drinking
3. Charas
4. Ganja
5. Chicken
6. Mutton
7. Masala
8. Oily Food
9. Sleep
10. Pollution HEART ATTACK HA! HA! HA!
“Dus Bahane Karke Le Gaya Dil..!”

(2)
Kya Aapne Kabhi Socha Hai Ki,
Girtey Logo Ko Dekh Taare Kya Wish Mangtey Hoge??

(3)
Prem Sadaa ke Liye Hota Hai,
Bas Premi Badal Jatey Hai…!!

(4)
Maine Tumse Pyaar kiya, Tere Baap ne Mujhko Pitaa,
Maine Tumse Pyaar kiya, Tere Baap ne Mujhko Pitaa,
Taan ki Shakti, Mann ki Shakti, Bournvita..

(5)
Ek Aadmi ko kya Kahenge Jo Permanently India Chhod kar Videsh Settle Hone Ja Raha hai?
HINDUSTAN LEVER


(6)
Maine Tujhe Dekhaa,
Dekhta Rahaa, Dekhta Hi Gayaa,
Fir Mujhe Chasmaa Laag Gaya..

(7)
Agar Aap Nili Nadi me Laal Patthar Fekoge to Kya Hoga?
Wo Gilaa Ho Jayega!

(8)
Sardar: Station jaane k kitne rupey loge?
Autowala: 100 rupey.
Sardar: 30 lelo.
Autowala: 30 me koun leke jayega?
Sardar: tum piche bheth jao Mein leke jaunga.

(9)
Ishq me aaj ye anjaam paya hai,
Haath-pair hai toote, muhh se b khoon ayaa hai,
Jab Hospital pahoche to Nurse ne farmaya,
BAHARO PHOOL BARSAO KISIKA MEHBOOB AAYA HAI!!

(10)
Judge: tum kis jurm me giraftar hue ho?
Sardar: Jaldi Kharidari karne ke liye.
Judge: par, ye Apradh nahi kaha jata. Waise tum kitni jaldi kharidari kar rahe the?
Sardar: dukan khulney ke Pehle..

(11)
Kayi Saalon ki Research ke bad Doctor Saheb,
Sarva Sammati se is Natijhe par pahunche he ki:
Jhukaam ke liye Behtarin Chhej..
-
-
-
‘RUMAAL’ hai..

(12)
Me Tumhe Apne Dil ke Jazbaat kin Shabdo me Bayan karu?
Shayad in Shabdo se baat ban jaye..:
.
.
.

‘GO TO HELL’

(13)
Na Sachchai Badi hai, Na Khuddari Badi hai,
Na Bhalai Badi hai, Na Imaandari Badi hai,
Bada to Wo hai jiske Ghar ke Bahar,
Mercedes Benz khadi hai…

(14)
Jane Wo kaisa hoga,
Jane Wo aisa hoga,
Ya Fir Waisa hoga…,
Jyada Soch maat,
Tere Sapno ka Rajkumar ‘Johnny Lever’ jaisa hoga..

(15)
Apki Adaa -Apki Smile,
Apka Chehraa,
Apka Chalna - Apka Bolna,
Apka Sharmana,
Apki Zulfe - Apki Aankhe,
Apka Andaaz…

Ufff…!! Koi ek Cheez to Thik hoti…



(16)
Aapke liye ek Film me Baat ki hai,
Chhota sa Role hai,
Heroine Apko Khandar me le jakar Goli mar degi…
Film hai -
“Khandar me Fattu ki Maut”!

(17)
Gabbar: Thakurrrrr ye Mobile Humko De De
.
.
.
Thakur: Ja Ja Aabe Hath – Pair ki Masti Hoti hai,
Mobile ki Masti Nahi Kartey..

(18)
Who Iss Kadar Unki Lash Se Lipaatt Kar Roye,
.
Ke Lash Khud Uth Kar Bol Padi,
.
.
Le Pehle Tu Marja..
.
.

Badtameez Kabse Upar Hi Gire Ja Raha Hai..

(19)
Chhota Rasta Bhi Lamba Lagne Lagta Hai,
Jab Koi Saath Nahi Hota,
.
Aur Lamba Rasta Bhi Chhota Lagne Lagta He.
.
Jab
.
.
“Kutte Pichhe Pad Jate Hai”

(20)
Ek Asaan sa Sawal Aapke Liye..
.
RAMAYAN me,
.
.
”RAM JI AUR SITA JI” ka
.
.
Surname kya tha?
.
Ab Dikhao Aapna Hunnaarr..!!



(21)
Bhayanak Badla By A Boy:
Usne Mera Dil Toda,
Meine Uska Apple iPhone 5
.
.

Baaki Aap Khud Hisaab Laga Lo Ki Kon Jyada Roya Hoga..

(22)
Roj - Roj Weight Check kar ke Kya karna hai,
Ek Din Sab ko Marna hai,
Chaar Din Zindagi ke Khushi Se Jiiee Le,
Mere dost..,
Agle Janam Mein Fir 2.5kg Se Hi Start Karna Hai..

(23)
God Bhi Engineer hai, kaise Boleto..
BRAHMA – System Installer
VISHNU – System Supporter
SHIVA – System Programer
NARAD – Data Transferer
YAMRAAJ – Deleter
APSARA – Virus

(24)
Koi Gum Nahi Par Fir Bhi Dil Udas Hai,
Tujse Rishta To Nahi Fir Bhi Ehsaas Hai,
Kehne Ko Apne To Kai He Magar Tu Ek Khas Hai,

Zyada Emotional Mat Hona Uper  Likha Sab Bakwaas Hai..

(25)
Boy: Tum Mujse Shaadi Karo Gi?
Girl: Nahi.
Boy: Lekeen Kyu?
Girl: Mere Ghar Wale Nahi Mane Ge.
Boy: Ghar Main Kaun Kaun He?
Girl: 1 Paati Aur 3 Bachche..



(26)
11 Funny Shops' Name:
1) Gandhi Hair Saloon
2) Mallika Textiles
3) Kalmadi Constructions
4) Jayalalita Fitness Club
5) Dharmendra Dance Academy
6) Mayawati Beauty Parlour
7) Yamraj Travels
8) Inzamam English Classes
9) Manmohan Public Speaking School
10) Salman Marriage Bureau
11) Rakhi Satsang Kendra.

(27)
4 Ladkiya Group Mein Ye Bol Sakti Hai Ki:
Tera Bhai Bada Mast Dikhta Hai.. Intro To Karva…
Par 4 Ladke Group Mein Yenahi Bol Sakte Ki:
Teri Behen To Maal Lagti Hai…..
Isse Kehte Hain Ladko Ke SANSKAAR..!!

(28)
Ladke Kyu Sabhi Ladkiyon Ko ‘Item’ Bolte Hai??
.
.
Kyuki,
Item Matlab ‘Maal’
Maal Matlab ‘Paisa’
Paisa Matlab ‘Laxmi’
Aur Ladkiya Toh Ghar Ki Laxmi Hoti Hai..
Rishta Wahi Soch Nayi…

(29)
Shadi Ka Din Ek Aisa Din Hota Hai Jab,
Dulha Khursi Pe Bethe Bethe Aas Pass Dekh Ke Sochta Hai,
.
.
.

Yaar, Ye Sab ‘Maal’ Pehle Kaha Tha??

(30)
Koi Tumpe Patthar Fenke To Uss Par Phool Fenk Na..
Par Itna Dhyan Rakhna Ki Phool,
‘GAMLE’ Ke Saath Hona Chahiye !
Think Different..!

(31)
Sirf 2 Types Ke SANCHAAR Puri Duniya Mein Sabse Fast Aur Best Hai..
1. E-Mail
Aur
2. Female
Ek Pal Me Idhar Ki Baat Udhar..!

(32)
Aaj Ka Suvichar:
Jaldbaji Me Shadi Karoge To Zindagi Ki Vatt Laga Doge,

Aur Soch Samaj Ke Karoge To Bhi Kya Ukhad Loge..??!!

(33)
Pehli Nazar Me Laga Ki Wo Meri Hai,
Uski Aankhen Samunder  Se Bhi Gehri Hai,
Propose Kar-Kar Ke Thaak Gaya,
Fir Pata Chala Ki Wo To Behri Hai..

(34)
Girl: Mujhe Kahi Mehengi Jagah Ghumane Le Jao.
Boy: Chal Taiyar Ho Ja, Petrol Pump Le Chalta Hu..

(35)
1 Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Propose Kiya.
Ladki Ne Use Bahut Maara, Utha Ke Patka.

Maar Kha Ke Ladka Utha, Kapde Jhatke Or Bola – To Me Inkaar Samju..??

(36)
Bapu Ne Nayi Car Li Or Uske Darwaje Pe Kya Likhvaya..??
Socho
?
Socho
?
?
Socho?
Darwaja Bahar Ki Side Kholna.. haha..

(37)
Zindagi Ek Bus-Stop He,
Har Ladki 1 Bus He,
Iske Pichhe Bhago To Chali Jati He,
Khade Raho To Dusri Aati Hai..

(38)
Mai Soch Raha Tha K Daru Chhod Du..
.
.
Par..
.
.
Is Duniya Me Sab Log Kaminey Hai,
Kisi K Pas Chhod Deta To Pee Lete..

Isliye Nahi Chhodi.. Haha…

(39)
Character Makes Difference:
GF: Peeke Gadi Mat Chala Bahut Accident Ho Rahe Hai.
BF: Thanx Baby, U R So Carring.
.
.
.
Frnd: Peeke Gadi Mat Chala Bahut Accident Ho Rahe Hai.
Boy: Tere Baap Ko Mat Sikha Kaminey..

(40)
Aaj Ki Young Generation Ko Sab Se Zyada Tention Kab Hoti Hai?

.
.
Exam Papers Mein??
Nahi.
.
.

Jab Wo So Kar Uthe Aur Unka Mobile Unke Pass Naho … Tab!!
Related Queries: