Fun with Smart Husband and Cute Wife Jokes in Hindi

by SmsLootere - Last Updated: March 25, 2014

Husband and Wife Marriage Jokes in Hindi,  Funny Pati Panti SMS & Relationship Messages

Now Smslootere.com team presents one more funny SMS category ‘Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi’ for our readers. Many modern couples who lives with tense all the time because of work tress and for any other reason, they needs some funny idea’s for better relationship. So we gives here big collection of husband wife love SMS, funny marriage jokes, Pati-Patni messages, husband and wife relationship quotes in Hindi. Share these collection with your partner and put a big smile on your life partner’s face.

Husband and Wife Jokes in Hindi


Husband and Wife Jokes SMS in Hindi

(1)
Wife: Shadi Ke Certificate Mein Kya Dhundh Rahe Ho?
Husband: Expiry Date..!!

(2)
Wife: Agar Me Marr Jau To Tum Kya Karoge?
Husband: Shayad Me Bhi Marr Jaunga.
Wife: Kyon?
Husband: Kabhi Kabhi Zyada Kushi Janleva Hoti Hai..

(3)
Pati - Tere Baap Ki Ungli Karne Ki Aadat Gayi Nahi ?
Biwi – Kyu? Ab Kya Hua?
Pati - Aaj Phir Se Pooch Rahe The...
"Meri Beti Se Shaadi Karke Khush Ho Na"

(4)
Wife: Batao Tumhe Me Kitni Achchi Lagti Hoon?
Husband: Bahut Zyada.
Wife: Fir Bhi Batao Kitni?
Husband: Itni Ki Dil Karta Hai Tere Jaisi 1 Aur Le Aun.

(5)
Wife: Agar Me Kho Jau, To Tum Kya Karoge?
Husband: Me Nirmal Baba Ke Paas Jaunga.
Wife: Tum Baba Se Kya Kahoge?
Husband: Baba Kirpa Aani Shuru Ho Gayi He.


(6)
Patni(Tare Dikhte): Batao Wo Kon Si Chiz He Jo Tum Roz Dekh Sakte Ho Par Tod Nahi Sakte?
Pati: Me Nahi Bataunga.
Patni: Bolo Na Plz.
Pati: Tera MUHH..

(7)
Wife Ne Ek Sign Board Dekha:
Banarsi Saree 10/-
Nylon 8/-
Cotton 5/-
Wife Khush Hoke Apne Husband Se: Mujhe Rs. 500 Do, Me 50 Saree Kharidungi.
Husband: Birbal Ki Maa, Istri Ki Dukan Hai Woh..

(8)
WIFE: Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Ki Agar Meri Shaadi Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To?
HUSBAND: Nahi, Main Kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Sochta..!

(9)
Husband: Kya Tum Mere Jivan Ka Chand Banogi?
Wife: Aww Haa.. Jaanu..!
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Husband: Bahut Khub! To..
Mujhse 9,955,887.6 Kms Door Raho..!!

(10)
Patni Ko Begum Kyu Kehte Hai?
Jawab: Kyonki Shaadi Karne Ke Baad Sare Gum To Pati Ke Hisse Mein Aa Jate Hai,
Isliye Patni Be-Gum Ho Jati Hai!!


(11)
Biwi Bathroom Se Naha Ke Nikli To Uska Pati Use Ghur Raha Tha!
Biwi Romantic Hokar Boli: Kya Karne Ka Irada Hai?
Pati Ne 2 Thappad Maara Or Bola Mere Garam Pani Se Kyu Nahayi..

(12)
Husband, Ek Baba Ka Pravachan Sunke Aya Aur Patni Ko Godd Me Utha Liya,
Wife Boli - Babaji Ne Pranay Leela Karne Ko Kaha Hai Kya?
Husband - Nahi Rajjo, Baba Ne Kaha He Ki Apna Dukh Khud Uthana Chahiye.

(13)
Pati Apni Patni Se:
Na Kajre Ki Dhar,
Na Motiyo Ki Haar,
Na Koi Kiya Singar,
Fir Bi Kitni Sundar Ho..
Patni Boli: Sidhe Se Bol Dona Ki
Make Up Ke Liye Rupaye Nahi Milege.

(14)
SUN & WIFE Mein Kya Samanta Hai..??
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Bahut Hi Aasan He,

Aap Dono Ki Samne Ghur Ghur Ke Nahi Dekh Sakte..!

(15)
Kitna Bebaas Hai Insaan Apni Qismat Ke Aage,
Har Sapna Tut Jata Hai Haqiqat K Aage,
Jis Ne Kabhi Kisi Ke Age Jhukna Nahi Sikha,
Wo Bhi Jhuk Jata Hai Apni Biwi Ke Aage..


(16)
Wife (Ghusse Se): Tumhare Bheje Me To Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!
Husband (Bade Pyar Se): To Fir Itni Der Se Kha Kyu Rahi Ho??

(17)
Begum: Kuch Aisa Kaho Na Jisse Mein Khush Bhi Ho Jau Aur Khafaa Bhi Ho Jau.
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Shohar: Tum Meri Zindagi Ho, Aur Lanat Hai Aisi Zindagi Par...

(18)
Husband: Har Vivahit Insaan Sundar Ladki Ko Dekh Ke Ye Bhool Jata He Ki Wo Vivahit Hai.
Wife: Nahi, Balki Insaan Ko Tabhi Yaad Aata Hai Ki Wo Bechara Vivahit Hai.

(19)
Patni: (Car Ki Ummid Me) Mujhe Esi Gift Do Ki Mein Jab Us Par Hu Wo 5 Second Mein 0 Se 100 Par Pachoch Jaye.
Pati Ne: Weighing Machine Gift Kar Diya..!

(20)
Husband Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se: Kya Aap Mere Saath 2min Baat Kar Sakti Ho?
Ladki: Kyu?
Husband: Meri Wife Ghum Ho Gai Hai, Par Mein Jab Kisi Or Ladki Se Baat Karta Hu Wo Kahi Se Bhi Mujhe Dhundh Leti Hai..


(21)
Biwi: Kal Jo Bhikhari Aaya Tha Wo Bahot Kharab Tha.
Pati: Wo Kyu?
Biwi: Mene Kal Use Khana Diya Or Aaj Usne Mujhe Ek Book Gift Ki ‘Khana Kaise Banate He.’

(22)
Wife: Kuch Saal Pehle Mera Figure Pepsi Ki Bottle Ki Tarah Tha.
Husband: Wo To Ab Bhi Hai, Bas Pehle Bottle 300ml Ki Hi Thi,
Ab Bottle 2Ltr Ki Ho Gayi..

(23)
Pati: Hypnotism Kise Kehte Hai?
Patni: Kisi Ko Apne Vaashh Me Karke Use Mann Chaha Kam Karvana.
Pati: Are Nahi Use To Shaadi Kehte He.

(24)
Jab Apki Patni Apse Kahe Ki,
‘Mujhe Tumse Jaruri Baat Karni Hai..’
Wo Ek Line Me Itna Power He Ki Wo Apko ‘Apni Life Me Kiye Hue Sabhi Galat Kam Ko Yaad Karva Deta He..’

(25)
Husband: Agar Operation Ke Dauran Me Marr Jau To Tum Isi Doctor Se Shadi Kar Lena.
Biwi: Aisa Kyun Bol Rahe Ho?
Husband: To Tum Kya Chahti Ho Me Us Doctor Ko Maaf Kar Du?


(26)
Patni: Ye Kya Hai Ji, Aap Roz Subah Mere Muhh Pe Pani Kyu Dalte Ho?
Pati: Kyon Ki, Mujhe Tere Baap Ne Kaha Tha.. Ki
Meri Beti Phul Si Najuk Hai, Ise Kabhi Murjhane Mat Dena..!

(27)
Har Kamyab Insaan Ke Piche 1 Aurat Hoti Hai,
Jo Use Itna Pareshan Karti Hai Ki..
Wo Insaan Harr Ke Dukhi Hokar,
Apne Kam Me Itna Ulajha Rehta Hai Ki..
Kamyabi Khud Uske Pas Aake Uske Kadam Chumti Hai.

(28)
Begum: Aap Ki 3 Begum or Bhi Hai? Ye Tumne Nikah Se Pehle Q Nahi Bataya.
Shohar: Maine Bataya To Tha Ki Mein Tumhe Mallika, Rani Or Shehzadi Ki Tarah Rakhuga..

(29)
Ek Nayi Book Ki Lakhon Copies 2 Din Me Hi Bik Gayi, Kyunki Title Ke Typing me Thodi Galati Ho Gai Thi.
Book Ka Name Tha..
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“AN IDEA CAN CHANGE YOUR WIFE (LIFE)”

(30)
Ek Admi Ki Nayi Nayi Shaadi Hui Thi, Par Fir Bhi Wo Der Tak Office Me Kam Karta Tha.
Ye Dekh Kar Boss Ne Pucha: Kya Baat Hai?
Admi Ne Bola Ki Uski Patni Bhi Job Karti He, Isliye Jo Ghar Jaldi Pahochta He Use Khana Banana Padta He.

(31)
Ek Husband Ki Wife Mar Gai Or Wo Uska Antimsanshkar Kar K Laut Raha Tha
Usi Waqt Jor Se Bijli Kadki, Badal Garje Or Jor Se Barish Hue.
Dukhi Husband Ne Apne Sath Aaye Hue Logo Se Kaha ‘Lagta Hai Pahuch Gayi..’

(32)
Biwi: Jaanu Kya Tumhe Pata Hai,
Jannat Me Miyaa - Biwi Ko Ek Saath Nahi Rehne Dete.
Husband: Pagli, Isi Liye To Use Jannat Kehte He..

(33)
Wife: Me Agar Mount Everest Chadh Gai To Tum Mujhe Kya Gift Doge??
Husband: Kya Tum Bhi, Ye Bhi Koi Puchne Wali Baat He..! DHAKKAA…!

(34)
Biwi: Jaanu Sunona, Jab Aapne Pehli Bar Mera Ghungat Uthaya Tha Tab Mein Kaisi Lag Rahi Thi?
Pati: Maa Kasam Agar Hanuman Chalisa Yaad Na Hoti To Marr Hi Gaya Hota.

(35)
Ek Hara Hua Business Man Apni Moti Wife Se:
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Tum Meri Life Ka Ek Lota Investment Ho Jo DOUBLE Hua Hai.

(36)
Wife: Aaj Kyu Jaldi Office Se Aa Gaye??
Husband: Mere Boss Ne Mujhse Kaha ‘Go To Hell’ Isliye..!!

(37)
Miyaa-Biwi Me Jagda Hua.
Dusre Din Subah Husband Ne Apni Biwi Ko Dudh Ka Glass Diya.
Biwi: Apni Galti Ka Ehsaas Ho Gaya..!
Husband: Nahi, Aaj Nagpanchami He. To Ye Le NAGIN Dudh Pi Le..

(38)
Pati: Maayke Jake Bhi Kyu Roj Phone Karti Ho?
Patni: Kyon Ki Tumhe Roj Ye Yaad Rahe Ke Musibat Abhi Tali Nahi Hai.

(39)
Wife: Tum Kal Hamari Padosan Ke Saath Film Dekhne Gaye The..?
Husband: Kya Karu..Aaj Kal Esi Film Kaha Banti He Jo Biwi Bachche Ya Parivar Ke
Saath Bethke Dekh Sake..!

(40)
Admi: Mere Bal Ekdum Chhote Kat De..
BARBER: Kitne Chhote Katu..?
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Admi: Itne Chote Ki Meri Biwi Inhe Khinch Na Paye..
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